Hiding Places
by marycat327
Summary: The events of "Nesting Dolls" season 5 force Catherine and Sara to acknowledge their true feelings. C/S femslash.


Title: Hiding Places

Rating: M for sex and language

Warning: femslash

Pairing: Sara/Catherine

Disclaimer: CSI and its characters do not belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: This story occurs just after the Season 5 episode "Nesting Dolls"

Catherine sighed as she retrieved her purse from her locker and slammed the door shut. Then she gasped involuntarily at the sight of someone standing right next to her. "Gil! What the fuck are you doing?" She was clearly annoyed as she attempted to brush past him and exit the locker room.

But his hand on her arm stopped her. "Catherine," he said quietly.

She turned to look at him, and was surprised at the depth of sadness in his eyes. But she forced her gaze away and muttered, "What?" as she dug in her purse for her keys.

"We need to talk." His voice was still calm and gentle, something she hated when she was angry.

Exasperated, she flopped back onto the bench. "All right, talk," she said grudgingly, looking at the floor.

He sat beside her, then reached up to turn her chin towards him. "Cath, why are you doing this?"

Catherine rolled her eyes. "Doing what?"

"Kissing up to Ecklie. I saw his arm around you in the office. Are you really that desperate to move ahead, that you have to abandon all your former friends and join Ecklie's side?" His tone was even, but the hurt behind it was evident.

She did not look at him. "I haven't abandoned *all* my friends."

"If you mean Warrick and Nick, I've heard them say you're always on their backs. Nothing they do is quite good enough for you. And you never, ever cut them any slack when they make mistakes. Come on, Cath. How many times did I get you off the hook? Can't you do the same for your friends?"

She whirled to face him with fury written all over her face. "Leave me alone, Gil," she said, her teeth clenched. "Just leave me the hell alone." He was sure he saw a tear in her eye at the last part.

Grissom sighed – for the second time that day, he would have to refuse that request. "No," he said quietly.

Her eyes wide – unable to believe that he would disrespect her privacy so blatantly – she raised one hand as if to slap him across the cheek. For a moment he didn't breathe. Would she really hit him?

The hand went limp, and "furious Catherine" seemed to deflate into a hunched-over little girl Catherine. "You wouldn't understand," she said dully.

"Try me."

"No," she said, standing up again. "Go back to Sara. I'm sure she needs you."

A light began to dawn in Grissom's mind as he watched her turn to leave. 'So that's what this is all about,' he thought to himself. Before he could think twice, he blurted out, "You're jealous of Sara!"

Catherine turned, holding onto the doorframe, and smiled at him sadly. "No," she said, shaking her head slightly, "I'm jealous of you."

Then she was gone.

Grissom sat on the bench for an interminable time, trying to wrap his head around what Catherine had said. How could she be jealous of him? For what? Given the context of the remark, it appeared that she was jealous of his relationship with Sara.

But that made no sense. She had chewed Sara out – in the hallway, no less. She had seemed pleased when Sara was suspended, and disappointed that Grissom had not fired her. She certainly didn't act as if she *liked* Sara – not as a friend, and definitely not as more than that.

Not to mention the fact that Catherine *always* dated men. She liked men. She flirted with men constantly. She had made a living off men's desires for her. It was totally nonsensical to think she might be interested in a woman. And certainly not Sara – the two had never really gotten along well; usually their hostility for each other was kept at a slow simmer, but recent events had brought it to the surface full force.

A voice interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up. "Hey, Griss? Did Cath leave already?"

"Yes, Warrick," Grissom replied in a tired voice. "She left some time ago."

"Oh." The younger man started to leave, but Grissom stopped him. "Warrick?"

"Yes?"

"What kind of relationship would you say Catherine and Sara have?"

Warrick chuckled, and Grissom frowned a bit. "Oh, I'm not laughing at you, Grissom," the younger man reassured him. "I'm just laughing at the question. I mean, how could you not know?"

"Know what?" Grissom's voice sounded a bit perturbed.

"That they're crazy about each other."

"What?" Grissom shook his head, as if he'd heard wrong. "But –"

"But they hate each other. Yeah, that's right. They hate each other because they love each other, and they're both so frustrated they can hardly stand to be in the same room. Nick and I think they should just get together and get it over with."

Grissom was speechless. How could Warrick and Nick see something that he himself had missed entirely? Catherine's voice came to mind as if to haunt him: "You've got to get your head out of that microscope sometimes."

"But why didn't Sara tell me?" he asked finally. "She told me a lot of other personal things. Why not that?"

"Maybe she thought you wouldn't understand," Warrick suggested. "She probably doesn't understand it herself."

"So what should I do then?"

Warrick shrugged. "Nothing. Let them work it out. I mean, that teakettle's gotta blow sometime." With that he left.

********************************************************

Sara sat in a corner of her dark apartment, knees to her chin and arms wrapped around her legs. It was done. She had talked to Grissom. Maybe now he would stop prying. Maybe what she'd told him was enough to explain, in his mind at least, her recent actions.

She tried to convince herself that that was all there was to tell. That her mom and dad had only abused each other and never Sara and her brother. That the pregnancy and abortion never happened, and that her brother was still alive. She told herself these things so intently that she almost didn't notice the tears that had begun to collect on her knees.

Suddenly she shivered, and she thought of Catherine. Catherine would understand. Catherine knew about abuse. Catherine had suffered – maybe not as much as Sara, and maybe not in the same way, but enough. Enough to empathize.

Their earlier confrontation forgotten, Sara rose to a standing position and walked, a bit wobbly, to the kitchen where she picked up her wallet and keys. She did not think any further as she left the apartment, climbed into her SUV, and drove to her destination. In her mind it was inevitable. Who else could she talk to? Who else did she trust? Who else would understand and not judge her? Who else did she..... love.....?

The word flashed through her mind and she hit the brakes, almost causing a collision with the car behind her. Did she love Catherine? Was that possible? How could that be? Sara forced herself to continue driving, a feeling of wonder spreading through her body.

She loved Catherine. Yes, that was it. She loved every bossy, demanding, sensual, impulsive, funny, INFURIATING bit of her! Sara found herself laughing as she pulled into Catherine's driveway. It was so simple. So simple.

She didn't stop to doubt herself as she walked to the front door of the mostly-darkened house. She had noticed one light on, so she knew someone was still awake. She rang the doorbell, then knocked, then rang the doorbell again. Just as she was about to knock some more, the door opened to reveal Catherine in a dark blue nightie. Sara felt the stirring of something she had never acknowledged before. Her eyes were drawn to the strawberry-blonde's long, shapely legs, then her gaze moved up, past the brief shorts, to the patch of bare midriff, then to her half-concealed breasts, and finally up to her face, which was full of curiosity.

Sara was speechless. There were so many thoughts going through her mind, she didn't know what to say first. Should she tell Catherine how beautiful and sexy she was? Should she talk about the first day they met, when Catherine's arrogant, territorial ways caused something to click inside her? Or about how she felt when they went for a beer after Hank betrayed her? Or how about –

Catherine's voice interrupted her jumbled thoughts. "Well?" she asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

Sara, forced to put words together to form a sentence, could think of only one thing, and that was what she said.

"I love you."

********************************

Two hours earlier, Catherine had arrived home, checked on her sleeping daughter, then wearily changed into her nightie. She thought of going straight to bed, but she knew that any attempt to sleep at this point would be doomed. She was far too worked up to sleep.

Those women – what Sara didn't realize was that Catherine felt just as angry at the husband and at the whole situation as Sara herself. And before she became a supervisor, she would have showed it. But now, she couldn't. It was her job to set an example, to encourage others to do their work without emotion interfering. And that in itself made her even angrier. She was angry at herself that she couldn't do more, that she couldn't use the power of her emotion to stop rampant domestic abuse any more than she could stop the sun from rising. And then that thought brought back the memories she had tried to shut away – Eddie, high on coke or heroin, screaming, calling her names, ripping off her clothes, shoving, hitting, pushing, kicking, causing her to lose their first child.

A choked sob escaped her as she sank to the floor of the living room next to her favorite chair. Sara didn't know.... There was so much that Sara didn't know. She didn't know how much Catherine admired her – her Harvard degree, her intensity, her dedication, and her beauty. That last one slipped in before Catherine even knew it was there. And then she thought of the most important thing that Sara did not know.

Sara did not know that Catherine loved her.

Even Catherine hadn't realized it until the team was split up. After a few days she noticed that even in her excitement and love for the new job, there was something missing. At first she thought it was Grissom she missed, so she called him from time to time for advice, but that didn't seem to help.

Her thoughts transported her back to that Very Important Day when her whole world changed.

Swing was pulling a double causing everyone to be in the lab together. She walked down the corridor looking for Nick and Warrick, and spotted them in the break room kidding around with Greg. Then a dark-haired figure hunched over a computer caught her eye. 'Sara,' she thought with a sudden upturn of her lips, and something inexplicable happened inside her. The missing piece of the puzzle had finally fallen into place. It was Sara she missed, although disbelief fought against that interpretation. How could she miss Sara? The woman was whiny, overemotional, obsessed by her work, infatuated with Gil..... with Gil..... Catherine felt a pang of jealousy at that thought, and it was then that she knew she was in trouble.

She turned swiftly and went back to her office, remaining there until she was ready to go home.

Catherine returned from the flashback with a start, her head still resting on the tear-soaked chair. Everything had changed since that day. She almost felt as if someone else was living her life, doing things she would never have considered doing before. The pressure was building. She knew she had to get out of the lab. And she knew Ecklie was the key.

Thus began the painful, nauseating task of ingratiating herself with Ecklie to the point that he would give her a good job away from the lab. Something that would pay enough but would not involve the remotest possibility of being around Sara. Or Grissom, for that matter; she couldn't talk to him now without a burning desire to ask after Sara.

'Oh, God,' she thought, dropping her head into her hands. 'And now Gil knows. I can't deal with this. I will have to resign. I don't want to look like a fool, to be the laughingstock of the lab...."

Her desperate thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Catherine jumped up, startled, and ran to the bathroom to wash her face. Whoever it was didn't need to see that she had been crying. She half-suspected it would be Grissom anyway, and he was the *last* person she wanted to see. Well....almost last....

Knocks and another ring followed, and Catherine worried that Lindsey would wake up. With a quick wipe at her face with the towel, she ran to the door and opened it without checking the peephole.

She blinked at the figure standing there, not quite sure if she was really seeing what she thought she was seeing. Yes, it was Sara, saying nothing but her gaze slowly traveling up Catherine's body. Their eyes locked together, and Catherine grew self-conscious.

"Well?" she asked, covering up her discomfort by rubbing her eyes.

Sara continued to stare, her face a mask of confusion. Then it cleared and she finally spoke.

"I love you."

Catherine's world suddenly started spinning rapidly. She was so shocked, especially given the thoughts she had just been having, that the door and the darkness and the porch light and Sara all jumbled together in her vision and she felt lightheaded. She reached for the doorframe, grasping it just as her vision failed her altogether and she began to fall forward.

Sara instinctively reached out to catch her friend, pulling her against her chest and holding her tightly until she was able to stand again. Sara tried to ignore the fact that she was enjoying the feeling immensely. Having Catherine in her arms seemed perfect. She didn't want it to end, but she knew she could not take advantage.

So she carefully set Catherine back on her feet, guiding her gently to turn around and enter the house. Sara closed the door behind them, gripping Catherine's arms tightly because the older woman still seemed to be unsteady.

"Catherine, are you all right?" Sara asked quietly.

Catherine's vision had cleared somewhat, and she raised her head slightly to look Sara in the eyes. She did not reply. Instead, with one sudden movement her lips were on Sara's, first gently, then with more insistence.

Sara was taken aback, but she recovered quickly and put all she had into the kiss. She wanted Catherine to know that she meant what she had said. For the first time, she unleashed the passion which she now knew had been there all along. She had barely begun to slide her tongue along Catherine's lips when they opened, and their mouths became as one and their tongues explored and danced. Sara's hands moved of their own accord, seeking the soft skin she had subconsciously dreamed of touching for so long. She felt rather than heard Catherine's soft moan as her hands grazed the sides of Catherine's breasts. Her fingertips skipped lightly to Catherine's back, pulling them closer together.

Catherine's hands tangled in Sara's hair; it was clear she wasn't letting the brunette go any time soon. She caressed Sara's neck tenderly but with an undercurrent of need. Sara heard something akin to a growl; she soon realized she was making the sound herself.

Sara broke the kiss to breathe, and intended to speak, but Catherine would not let her, instead abruptly resuming her assault on Sara's mouth. She was moaning more loudly now and Sara knew if they stayed in the living area the sound would carry down the hall to Lindsey's room and awaken the preteen girl.

In one smooth motion, barely breaking the connection between their lips, Sara slid one arm under Catherine's knees and lifted her, supporting her back with the other arm. Catherine's eyebrows flew up but she did not protest. Sara wasn't sure of the way to Catherine's bedroom but she felt sure that blind need would help her find it. It seemed only seconds had passed when she laid the blonde on the bed, simultaneously lifting the top of her nightie up and over her head.

Catherine gazed at Sara as they undressed each other, the raw hunger and lust evident in both pairs of darkened, heavy-lidded eyes. Catherine didn't stop to think about what she was doing. Her mind was empty of everything save the passion she felt for her younger coworker. Before she even had Sara's panties off, her fingers searched for their prize and quickly found it: Sara's center was swollen and dripping, and this discovery only added to Catherine's excitement.

Sara gasped as Catherine found her most sensitive spot, and she pushed Catherine's hand away long enough to remove the offending fabric. Now naked, they held each other tightly and fell together onto the bed.

A few hungry kisses and Catherine's mouth moved to Sara's neck and shoulders, seeking to confirm what she suspected. It was true; the skin there was extremely sensitive and Sara almost bit her tongue to keep from crying out loudly. When Catherine added her teeth to nip gently at Sara's shoulder, the younger woman could not restrain a loud moan.

She pushed Catherine onto her back and nestled herself between Catherine's spread legs. Her lips found Catherine's left breast and she sucked, first gently, then with more zeal, as she slid her lower body up and down, rubbing her wet core against Catherine's. The blonde lifted her hips to increase the delicious pressure, and Sara was spurred to move even more quickly.

Catherine threw back her head with pleasure, breathing heavily as she tried to contain the screams that threatened to break forth from her throat. Her widening blue eyes found Sara's brown ones, communicating the depths of her love (though somewhat masked by lust).

Sara raised her head slightly and found Catherine's sweet lips again, moving her tongue in rhythm with the motions of her body. Catherine began to whimper. She couldn't hold Sara close enough. Her nails raked across Sara's back, and Sara cried out, sliding off to lie beside Catherine.

Sara's sudden movement left Catherine with a terrible feeling of loss, but that didn't last long, as Sara found Catherine's center with her hand and pushed two fingers between the slick folds, her palm solidly against the most sensitive area. One, two, three thrusts of her fingers, and Catherine began to tremble. Seconds later, her body exploded with one of the most intense orgasms she had ever had. The pleasure raced through her as she panted for breath, feeling lightheaded and tingly when she began to come down from the pinnacle.

Sara relaxed and smiled, happy to give her friend such pleasure. She was well aware of the ache she still felt between her legs, but knew that it would be soothed in due time. She expected that Catherine would take awhile to recover; therefore, she was startled when Catherine pushed Sara onto her back in a sudden movement and began to plant kisses on her torso starting with her breasts and slowly moving down. Sara knew what Catherine had in mind and she started to shiver in anticipation. There was a smile in Catherine's blue eyes when they met Sara's brown ones, a smile that held the promise of deliverance even though her progress was torturously slow.

Sara gripped the sheet tightly until her knuckles turned white, trying not to black out at the intensity of need that she felt. She watched as her lover's lips moved gradually closer to the place where Sara wanted her to be. But Catherine stopped after placing one kiss on the soft hair over Sara's pubic bone, and moved lower to nip at her inner thighs.

Sara groaned. She tried to form words but couldn't. Instead, her hand snaked down to the mass of strawberry blonde hair, moving Catherine's head to the position she desired.

Catherine could tell that she had teased long enough; she parted the outer lips with her tongue and dipped it into the flowing well below. The scent and taste of Sara's sex made her lightheaded, and she paused, trying to force her thoughts into coherence. Sara's hips bucked impatiently, and Catherine smiled to herself, returning at once to her task. She slowly ran her tongue up and down, from the bundle of nerves above to the opening below, and could feel Sara tense almost immediately. A few more long licks, then she concentrated on each area in its turn; twirling her tongue around Sara's inner lips then thrusting it inside, followed by delicate caresses of Sara's clit that led to more pressure. Sara moaned and writhed and Catherine's heart swelled with pleasure at her success. After a time she decided a double assault was in order. She slipped first one then two fingers deep into Sara, producing a jerk and a loud moan, and at the same time her tongue was focused on Sara's clit, moving in large circles that became gradually smaller, finally centering on the small bud of nerves, which was taut and erect. She increased the pressure as she felt Sara respond, and finally began to suck and nip with her teeth.

This sent Sara over the edge without delay, and she screamed as the spasms swept through her body. Catherine could feel Sara's inner muscles contracting around her fingers and she felt a great sense of pride; she did not give up her task until suddenly Sara collapsed onto the bed, exhausted from the intense orgasm.

Catherine gently kissed Sara's center, then moved upwards to kiss her on the lips. Sara's eyes were closed and she responded sleepily to the kiss. Catherine broke the kiss, then whispered almost inaudibly, "I love you, too." She laid her head against Sara's chest, snuggling as close as possible, and was quickly asleep.


End file.
